


Say You Were Made to Be Mine

by lostinthesounds



Category: Matched Trilogy - Ally Condie, The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellarke, F/M, Future Society, Slow Burn, Wells was her wrong match, government controls soulmates, matched - Freeform, sort of a soulmate au?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-16
Updated: 2018-12-27
Packaged: 2019-09-01 13:03:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16765696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: Clarke’s life was turned upside down with the discovery that Wells Jaha wasn’t the person she matched with, the one person she hates.She should be happy, right?she can’t be.In a world that’s quickly turning to lies, she doesn’t expect to befriend the boy she was actually matched with. With a trusty ally and a plan to change her results and help his sister, it seemed perfect.Until, Clarke finds out the truth about Arkadia’s government and how hard it is to be in love with someone who doesn’t want a relationship. It wasn't expected, not any of this. However, with her happiness and newfound voice on the line...It's everything off the table. She has to fight back.Everything's she's ever understood was completely fake.





	1. Expectations

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone, I'm back with yet another attempt to write a chapter fic. However, this story plot written by Ally Condie in her trilogy (all plot credits go to her, obviously.) called Matched, has quickly caught my attention to write a similar plot for Bellamy and Clarke, and the 100 universe. 
> 
> A few quick side notes..
> 
> \- I don't own any plot ideas from Matched, and will just be using them to write about this ship with a motive to entertain the reader. 
> 
> \- I hope you all enjoy this story, and just know that I'll try my hardest to update frequently as soon as I get this fic up and running. 
> 
> \- I really am going to try to put my effort into this, so please feel free to leave Kudos or comments if you see anything I can improve on, or how good it may be. Any feedback is greatly appreciated! 
> 
> Lastly, this fic will range from a short period of present time in the beginning and begin the story in the past tense. I just thought it would make better sense in terms of where I want this story to go. It will go back to present time midway through the story for when the plot reaches that point, so I hope it goes natural in transitions. Finally, once again...Enjoy reading!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After years of waiting, Clarke is finally eligible to participate in the process of the Match Banquet. She would be matched with someone to love, and she couldn’t wait. 
> 
> The person she gets matched with is someone she never wanted to see again, and now Clarke doesn’t know where her life went wrong. She hates a lot of things, and Wells Jaha is definitely one of them.

_“It is strange how we hold on to the pieces of the past while we wait for our futures“_ _  
_

**_Matched_ \- Ally Condie**

* * *

_1._

If someone would’ve asked Clarke how she got here, how things could’ve gone so opposite to what she expected out of her life. . . 

She would’ve shrugged and thought nothing of it. _It was such irrational thinking._

Clarke had multiple days in her holding cell to figure that part out, but she didn’t. She couldn’t. Clarke rubbed her sweaty hands along the side of her grey pants; they were baggy and made her think that someone else has stepped into them and worn them out, but it was the required prison outfit. The government finally had a reason to lock her up, and who was she to stop them? 

Her faded blue Henley shirt, was almost grey being that it's been days since she's showered; She missed that luxury, more than anything. Clarke stood next to Thelonious Jaha, president of the large city of Arkadia, _also_ the place she called home for a mere eighteen years of her life. 

She felt like she could suffocate, sitting in a metal chair next to her own mother and the man who’s about to decide her fate in where she stands in society, life or death.

Clarke glanced to the side, startled by President Jaha standing from his chair as it slid back against the wall. 

_Life or death._

Her fate decides on what the public thinks of her, the cameras were almost blinding as they focused on her face. Just like the Match Banquet, her trial was televised to determine their sentence. 

The people, the crowds in front of her was her jury. Ultimately, they were the deciding factor in how Thelonious Jaha ruled. 

Clarke tried to swallow hard, but feels a burning in her throat. She’s close to tears when her hands buckled against the metal of the frame, she couldn’t even console herself. 

This isn’t the home she recognized. She’s always been controlled; her education, her job, her match for _love_. Arkadia had always been like this, so demanding and repulsive in how her people live their everyday. Clarke just didn’t fully know how bad it was until she got handcuffed and got told to sit in a chair until President Jaha finished. Until this whole charade was over. _It was always this bad_. 

He cleared his throat, much less nervous than the criminal; a girl he used to comfort as a child, beside him. 

“Today on this day, I’m standing here prepared to hear the statements from the traitor beside me. This young woman named Clarke Griffin, _changed_ her match results.” He looks down at Clarke for a split second, in disbelief. Some people in the crowd exclaim their dislike for the girl already, but he keeps going. “After the careful and deliberate searching, the patterns of no sleep continued for my Sectors as they tried their very best to match Clarke with a man of her best interest.” 

Clarke bites her tongue, knowing she’ll be executed if she speaks of why he was so angry with her. She didn’t want his son, and President Jaha knows how betrayed she feels over her father’s death by his hand. 

He really thought it would be simple to try and convince Clarke that Wells was the perfect match for her, knowing exactly how she’ll feel. President Jaha reviews all the matches beforehand, he knows how she felt about Wells and he still _accepted_ it. 

She stays silent, no matter how tough it is and looked around. Her mother’s hands are trembling as they layed in her own lap, and Clarke felt sympathy. She would have to watch her husband and daughter die, and Clarke knows it must be horrible. 

“Not only did she commit a crime against one of the laws of Arkadia that I find personally offensive, she changed her results to match with an _Aberration_.” 

_Those were his people too, and he speaks of them like this_.

He spoke with such disgust when he mentioned the existence of Aberrations living in his society, and it makes Clarke angry. They didn’t deserve to be treated or talked about like this. President Jaha only cared about middle and high class citizens, paying no mind to low classes who also want the chance for love that everyone else so generously got. Their society looked down upon the low class because most wealthy class-men thought that those who didn’t have much, don’t deserve to have time put into their personality tests, interviews, or for the chance to be matched with someone of such high status. 

Nobody cared about them, and that’s what made Clarke furious. 

Aberrations were allowed to go to the most of the same schools as others, being that their public school system was free until college. But, they weren’t allowed to put in their information for Match qualifications until they showed academic and social achievements to the council, to prove that they were worthy. 

Being that Abby Griffin, was one of the only powerful Spectors in Arkadia, she had taught most of her craft to her daughter like a typical mother would do. 

Clarke knew how Aberrations earn their place in society. It wasn’t an easy process but a single Spector would be chosen by President Jaha to review all of the Aberrations living in the city, and pick and choose which ones are able to move into the city. They would live normal lives afterwards, like nobody knew who they were. 

It was her last test before becoming a true Spector, she could’ve been working alongside her mother by now. _If only she passed the test_. 

Clarke’s life would’ve been picture perfect by now. She would’ve been dating Wells Jaha, the President’s son, her former best friend who broke her heart. She would have a job at a government office in a lab in the center of the city, in the middle of everything. Most people would think she had it all, but she didn’t. 

Not even close. 

Then, they’d ask why and Clarke won’t feel the need to lie because it would hurt her too much. She would answer truthfully and say it was because of _him_. 

It was for _him_ , that’s why she didn’t pass the test. She loved a Aberration too much, to let him stay in the outskirts of Arkadia. 

President Jaha takes a deep breath before speaking again, “As a result of these crimes, Ms.Griffin will face the sentence based off your choosing. You will help me decide if she should be executed at dawn, or be imprisioned for a reasonable time of my liking.” 

Clarke could feel the hairs at the nape of her neck rise, making her shiver. She couldn’t look at anyone, how could she? 

The only daughter of highly respected Jake and Abby Griffin, one of the hopeful to replace elder Spectors, was a criminal on trial. 

Her world was crazy, upside down and immoral. All she wanted to do was fix it. 

Clarke wanted to fix the wrong doings on her results, it wasn’t right. Her match with Wells was dishonest and unbelievable, how could she pair with someone who caused her so much pain? 

She didn’t understand, so she sits in silence with words dying on the tip of her tongue that rests against her dry lips. 

She doesn’t know who she is, or who she was anymore. However, she knew one thing. The love she found _was_ worth it. 

Her true match for love, was worth the struggle. No matter how this ends, she loved him, and she would tell him in person if she could. 

She can’t speak to him at all because he’s still stuck in the outskirts of Arkadia. 

This time, he’s fighting the rebels that fled the city after their imprisonment for sentences similar to Clarke. It was her fault, and if she ever sees him again, she will gladly tell him. 

President Jaha sets his hands roughly on the table, wanting Clarke to look at him speak but she doesn’t budge. 

“Dismissed, everyone take a seat.” He grunts, taking a seat again. The crowd scattered into wooden chairs that were lined up in rows. It reminded her too much of the Match Banquet, too much of how this all started. 

Clarke can’t look at someone who killed her father, who took her boyfriend away, and the fact that she knew she could be _very_ much be killed at the end of all of this if she’s too stubborn. _It’s so hard not to be_. 

* * *

PAST

FIVE MONTHS BEFORE

* * *

The room was filled with buzz and quick conversations. Clarke was sat in the fifth row, she takes notice of how the girls are seperated by status. Sadly, it wasn’t that difficult to tell. 

The girls in row one to five, were determined by daughters of Sectors and doctors. Row six to eight were classified as wealthy miners. The following two rows had been reserved for daughters of men who farmed the bulk of agricultural supplies for the city.

The last three rows had been for daughters of middle class-men, better than the low class of Aberrations but less significant than farmers. 

Clarke was excited, yet nervous to speak to most around her. She had just turned eighteen a few months ago in September and had been waiting for her chance to be included in the Match Banquet. 

For the past year, she had been doing interviews with Marcus Kane, a data collecter for Spectors to analyze. Her mother had recommended his assistance being that her daughter deserved the best help to get the _best_ match. 

Clarke had been prepared for this, how to act when she meets the guy, how to smile brightly when they walk out of the room. The list could go on, she knew all the steps. She just had to run them over in her head to be prepared. 

“Are you okay?” 

She hears someone say, but she dismisses it because there’s conversations happening around her and Clarke is certain that it wasn’t meant for her. 

Until it repeats, “Hey, I was wondering why you haven’t gotten up to talk to anyone? Nervous?” 

Clarke’s shoulders tense as she turns around quickly, it’s a girl with her brown hair picked up into a ponytail and concern on her face. 

She responds, “Yeah... _yeah_ but I’m fine.” 

“I’m not great at making friends, so I’m sorry if it was so random to just ask you that.” 

“It’s fine, don’t worry! I’m trying to contain my feelings anyways.” Clarke jokes. 

“I’d like to agree with you but—“ The brunette says, her voice a bit shaky with nerves. “I’m terrified to see who I get matched with.” 

Clarke feels the same way. She’s been waiting for this moment her entire life and she wants someone _good_. Someone with a nice heart, a kind smile and someone who can lead along side her through life. If the Sectors only had one job, she just prayed they did it right. 

She hangs her arm around the back of the chair, careful of wrinkling her blue dress. It was short sleeved and fell below her knees. It was pretty, Clarke looked beautiful. “The matches are planned out, so I bet we both have great results. They have to pair us up with people who are like us.” 

“How can you be so sure?” 

“My mom, she’s works in the Sector lab downtown. She tells me that everything should be fine as long as we filled out the papers correctly.” Clarke assured, smiling at the girl. 

She watches as the other girl relaxes and sits back in her chair. As for Clarke, she’s glad to make another person comfortable for something that would change their lives. Of course, if either person doesn’t like their match, they both have to wait till the next match and do the following wave of requirements six years later. 

It’s a logical thing to do if both parties arent happy, but not a lot of adults are seen in the Match Banquet. The best way Clarke can describe it as, is that it’s sort of like a destroyer of reputation. It’s looked down upon others in society, because the Sectors work so hard to do their job and people can change it so easily if they to choose to do so. 

It sucks to not be able to fall in love with someone you’re supposed to be so compatible with, and Clarke hopes to every star in the night sky that she does. 

“Thanks for that, I’m Raven by the way. Nice to meet you.” The girl extends her hand out, a warm smile takes form on her face. 

“I’m Clarke, and you’re welcome.” She completes the handshake, and pulls back. 

Raven looks towards the hallways with a lingering stare, and Clarke can’t help but glance in that direction as well. The bell had just rung for the third time, signaling that the previous row of ladies had successfully found their match and that the rooms were empty again. 

“Do you have a type?” Raven asks curiously, her eyes are still locked on Row Three heading towards the doors. 

“What do you mean? Like, do I have a preference?” 

“Yeah, to be specific.” 

Clarke takes a minute to think, her mind is blank. Does she have a type? The first part of the question made sense, she wants someone kind, brave and smart. 

She just has no idea how someone would look if they’ve matched her ideals. Would they have short or long hair? Glasses or no glasses? Dark clothes? Would he be loved by everyone? Or be hated by everyone she cared about? That’s the important thing, Clarke decides. She turns back to Raven, confident in her answer.

“He would have to be nice enough to be loved by my family, no matter how small it is.” The other girl nods slowly as she looks down at her hands in her lap. She didn’t look happy, and Clarke wondered why. 

“I only have my best friend, so I guess he counts as family. Whoever I get matched with tonight, they have to like eachother cause I don’t know what I’d do if they don’t.” Raven cringes, suddenly she’s the shy one. 

Clarke knows what it’s like to lose someone so close to you, and although she just met the girl, she wants Raven to know she understands more than she would like to. 

“I understand, I really do.” She replies with a gentle voice, it’s a whisper in a crowd full of people. 

It’s silent for a full minute before Raven speaks again, stopping Clarke from turning around in her seat to prepare herself for Row Five to be called next. 

“Hey Clarke, I like you.” 

She can’t stop herself from blushing, but she tries to stop it. She knows it’s harmless, but still.

Raven’s eyes widen, “I don’t mean in _that_ way, but I hope we can still be friends after this.” 

Clarke laughs, turning back in her chair to regain focus. “I’d love that too, Raven.” 

She isn’t lying, she has a sudden interest in her new friend. Clarke doesn’t have many people that like her, so she doesn’t have a lot of friends to see. Maybe Raven can fix that, give her the best friend _feeling_ that she lost. 

The girls in her row were starting to get louder, Clarke could tell how the atmosphere around her was beginning to change. She would pick up small whispers from the girl beside her, or hear the sounds of heels constantly tapping on the tile of the floor, or acknowledge how worrisome parents would feel waiting for results. The children were the only people allowed in the venue for the night, as parents waited outside with televisions as their outlet to see their child find a partner for life. 

Clarke’s row of girls were next, and she thought about what others would want in a guy. The girls in her row were daughters of medics and doctors, so they were anticipated to have the best results. She was expected to get a good man or someone maybe in politics _even_. 

She was _expected_ of such high standards now that her father was gone. Clarke knew she would have to love whoever she was matched with, the lingering power that some people have over her was still ongoing. That’s why she’s so nervous, because she would have to succeed in a life no matter who ended up in her corner. 

She also knows that Thelonious Jaha won’t give her a second chance if she hates whoever is behind her door, because of how she treated his son. 

This just has to work, Clarke has valuable things on the line. 

_Her happiness_

_Her time_

_Her love_. 

She knew it was time when a hand lands firmly on her shoulder, squeezing in what seemed like reassurance. Clarke turned quickly to see Raven wishing her good luck, but she doesn’t react. The only thing she does is lock eyes with her new friend, unsure of which emotions she’s giving off, and stands. 

Clarke was silent as she’s ushered away from the crowd of qualifiers and further down the main hall to the set of doors. Soon enough, she was standing outside her assigned door number. Those were chosen simply by where she sat in the other room, her number was four. 

(In rehearsal, she was instructed on where to sit which made the process seem smoother on television.) 

She looks to her left, seeing her name pop up on the screen of the tablet that was installed into the wall. Although Clarke couldn’t see the cameras, or any television promoters anywhere near her personal space bubble, she was still being watched. 

Her name, _Clarke Griffin_ was lit up in bright black letters. A little box filled with some personal data from her information papers sat in the bottom right of the screen, and she noticed how articulate it was. Everything was scheduled and programmed to work efficiently, like the tablet was waiting for each match to happen. 

Clarke clasps her hands together, waiting for the tablet to signal green for her to go inside. The room was designed to have two doors, one for girls and the back door for the boys. It finally rang in her head that there was another person behind the other door, waiting to see who his match was too. It was small, comfortable for two people to stand but no furniture expect the overhead lights. 

It causes her to worry, already feeling her palms sweat with negativity swirling in her head. Would he like her right away? Does he like blonde girls? Would he be just as nervous as she was? 

_So many things to worry about._

She can’t press her thoughts any longer because her face illuminated with the color green that flashed from the screen. 

_Go_ , it means go inside. 

Clarke closes her eyes, takes a long inhale of the air around her, and puts her hand on the handle to turn the door open. It was finally happening, the one moment she’s been waiting for since she was twelve years old. 

The door creaks open easily, probably from the frequent use that night, Clarke is sure. Her first instinct is to smile wide as she reaches for the light to brighten the room. 

“Hi, I’m Clarke. It’s so nice to meet you but I’d love to turn on the lights.” She warns, but flicks the light on. 

She doesn’t even turn her head from the wall, when he speaks. “C-Clarke?” 

The unknown tension in her shoulders lessened, she must know this guy. It’s weird though, only because she knows that voice. She hates that she still knows his _stupid_ _voice_ , Clarke turns so fast she almost bumps into the wall. 

She sets her hands out in front of her, stopping him from moving closer. “You’ve got to be kidding me, _No_...No”

“Will you calm down? We don’t have a lot of time in here and I’m so glad I got you as my—“ 

Clarke gasps. “Don’t finish that sentence, _God_ , Wells I can’t believe you would think I would be happy to see you.” 

Clarke angrily says, the words spitting out like venom. A fuel of rage was quickly spreading everywhere in her body, it was hard to control. This can’t be real? She can’t _really_ be matched with Wells, the president’s son, the boy she used to call a best friend, the same boy who allowed his father to kill her father. 

The world couldn’t be so cruel to her, it _can’t_ be. This can’t be real. 

Wells seems to ignore her, a hint of a frown on his face. His hands smooth out any wrinkles in his suit, settling the waves of anger he feels. “We got matched Clarke, that means something.” 

“Yeah? For all I know, you could’ve made Thelonious change your match to be matched with me. _How ironic?_ The president’s son and the daughter of the best Spector he’s ever seen?” She snaps back, unmindful of her rambling. 

“My father would never do that, he doesn’t interfere with the system.” Wells argues, stomping his foot. 

“Sure, he doesn’t get himself involved _but_ he still won’t do anything to _stop_ the mountain men, he didn’t do anything to stop my dad’s murder, neither did you.” 

Wells takes a step forward, but after glancing up at the timer above their heads. It read two minutes, they had two minutes before they had to leave and present themselves. His voice is hoarse with an emotion he can’t describe, “I don’t want to have this conversation right now.” 

Clarke takes a deep breath, somehow holding in the tears she feels rising from the back of her throat.

“Good, because neither do I.” 

Wells tries to argue, to do anything to prove the reality of the situation. “You’re still my match, this still happened and you can’t ignore that forever Clarke.” 

“I’ve ignored you for months, I’m pretty sure I could ignore this outcome too.” 

She crosses her arms, to prove the exact point that he had gotten across. He may love the outcome, but Clarke’s dreams had been crushed. In another life, a year ago, she would’ve loved this. Clarke would’ve loved to get matched with her best friend and spend her entire life getting to love him the way she would want to. Wells Jaha had caused her so much pain, so much misery, that she can’t even put into words how she felt about this. 

Wells raises his voice, “What are we gonna do then, _huh_?” 

“What do you mean? I don’t want you as my match, it’s simple if you thin—“ 

He gets closer, his eyes are wide and she fights the urge to flinch. “Simple? You think it’s _simple_ to just change the results that those Spectors put so much time and effort into?” 

Clarke flicks his chest hard with her pointer finger, “When I last saw you, I told you how much I hated you, I was clear in what I asked you for. _I don’t want you in my life, Wells_.” 

She has to be strong, she has to show him that he isn’t important to her anymore; his time, his effort to stay, his kindness, it wasn’t worth it. Wells had already done so much. 

“It’s fate, Clarke. No matter what our parents did, we were—“ 

Clarke’s had enough, she’s the one who raises her voice now, a few tears fall down her cheeks. “Shut up! You don’t get to tell me how my life should happen, and you haven’t been in my life since my dad died. Fate, destiny _whatever it is_ , it means nothing when I’m with you.” 

Wells glances back up at the clock, wishing it was infinite so that he’d have time to explain. There was sixty seconds until they had to present themselves in front of the crowd, in front of every other match. He knows for a fact, with a hundred percent certainty, that he was one of the highly anticipated qualifiers. 

His father is the president of Arkadia, the most important position in society. He had a reputation to uphold, and Clarke is about to ruin it. Although, he really doesn’t blame her for how their friendship ended. (He still feels horrible, but Clarke would rather poke her eye out than listen to him.) 

It’s silent for a few more seconds, until Wells speaks again. He manages to whisper, “What are you gonna do?” 

Clarke looks up, she was caught off guard with how sad her old friend looked. He could cry in front of her, and she wouldn’t even bat an eye.

“I’m going to Headquarters tomorrow, to pick up another form and get someone that isn’t you.” 

Wells has a big frown on his face, curling his lips downwards, he expected that. He hates that he knew her so well, it broke his heart. 

“Clarke, we can’t just work this out?” 

“There is nothing to work out here Wells, it’s simple. I told you. I can’t be matched with you, it’s painful and hurting me just standing here with you thinking about it.” 

There’s a softness to Wells that Clarke recognizes, his eyes narrow and he strides to stand next to her. 

_Cameras would be outside that door, it was almost time to leave._

“Are you willing to wait six years to be matched again? I think it’s _quite_ foolish that you can’t at least, talk to me as to why we can’t work through this.” 

Wells straightens his suit again, self-conscious because he knows what happens next. He knows that the doors would click open, and they’d have to walk out to be greeted by a camera; a big, flashing and bright, camera. 

“It’s a price I’m willing to make. If you’re my true match, then they can always give me second best next time.” Clarke huffs out, unfolding her arms. 

Wells sighs into his next words, “You don’t deserve second best, I hope you understand that.” 

Wells tried to grab her hand, but Clarke flinches away. The door softly clicks open, letting them know it was over.

They would have to face the reality of it all, the horrible result in Clarke’s mind, and the agony that would come with being seen next to him. She hated all of publicity, but she hated him more. 

“Of course I know that, Wells, you’re the one that doesn’t deserve me.” He stumbled back, as Clarke reaches forward to aggressively open the door. 

She knows that she hit a senstive nerve in his heart, in the pieces that will always care for her, but she didn’t care about how he felt anymore. They were the past, and Clarke was heading towards the future. A future without him. 

“Clarke, wait please.” 

She has one foot out the door when he calls out to her, and she freezes on instinct. 

“I know you hate me, but you can’t go out there alone. It won’t look good for either of us, and I know Abby is watching for you too.” Wells gestures his hands to the door, and it makes Clarke turn around. 

She swallows the lump in her throat and steps back into the room. He was right. 

“Don’t hold my hand, I’ll hit you.” 

Wells holds back his smile, even though he knows that Clarke is serious. “I won’t, I swear.” 

She nods, as she moves to stand beside him again. She felt sick, but she still stood to wait for him to make the first move. Wells puts his hand on her back to test the waters, but he decides to hover instead. 

Clarke could feel the warmth from his hand, but she knows he isn’t touching her. She’s grateful for that, but it won’t change anything. He was listening to her. 

They leave the room, Clarke taking notice that they were last two people to leave. _What a great first impression_ , she thinks. Other people would probably think they were kissing, which Clarke would rather fall into a trap and possibly die, than do that. 

Both of them flash bright smiles when needed, but stay silent otherwise. They had nothing to talk about as they continued walking down the corridors to the main hall. The voices were getting louder, deafening since Clarke had been so angry earlier. 

“I’m sorry, _so so_ sorry about everything Clarke.” Wells pleads. 

She keeps her gaze straight ahead when he speaks, not bothering to listen. 

“Don’t do that.” 

“Please, just let me explain. It’ll just take a minute, you can leave me the second we see everyone else.” 

Clarke takes a deep breath, just keeping her focus on the fact that she won’t have to see Wells after she changes her match tomorrow morning. He would continue to be nothing to her, and that’s what makes her reply. 

“Fine.” Her eyes continue to wander around them, trying to walk a bit faster to the side door they had walked through before. They had to be close. 

She can hear Wells sign in relief when she stays quiet for him to speak, and his hand pulls away from her back. “I never wanted to hurt you, I only wanted to protect you.” 

“If you were protecting me, you never would’ve told your dad about what my father knew. You wouldn’t of been the cause of my father’s death.” 

“It wasn’t my fault, Clarke!” He hisses. 

Clarke stops in her tracks, “Then who’s is it? I _trusted_ you with that information because I was scared. I was scared of losing my parents and you had the power to turn them in. My father didn’t do anything wrong! You _know_ what he did, you know that he was trying to stop it.” 

Wells stands in front of her, his eyes were glossy. “It didn’t seem that way, and it hurt me just as much as it did for you. I saw Jake as a second father, a mentor.” 

Clarke looks down, a sob finally escaping her throat. She couldn’t stand how this conversation was heading, how can he say that? After what he did? 

“I know you feel terrible about what happened, but I can’t forgive you.”

”Why, Clarke? _Why not_?” Wells begs, getting a harsh glare in return when he grabs her elbow. 

“You keep saying how important my father was to you, and you were the one who turned him in! Wells, how can you expect that to be so easy to forgive?” 

Wells doesn't know what to say to make her feel any different, she knows him too much. “It was the right thing to do.” 

Through his defeat, Clarke feels her heart shatter. “You’re the only person who thinks that.” Clarke brushes his shoulder as she walks past him, and doesn’t look back to Wells not once, as she opens the door to the main hall and enters the chaos again. 

She doesn’t see Raven in row six, she knows it’s empty from the looks of it, but her eyes are blurry so she couldn’t be certain. She has to find her mother, and leave. 

She’s done being hopeful, everything turns the opposite of what she wants anyways. Clarke feels the weight of the world on her shoulders, broken and heavy. 

It’s almost too much to bear, but she sees her mother’s dark hair and white lab coat walk through the doors and stand near the entrance. 

Nothing is stopping her from running this time, Clarke rushes over to her mother and leads her out the building and stays silent when she gets asked a million questions all at once. 

“Mom, please, can we wait till we get home. I’m tired.” She begs, and Clarke slumps her shoulders in response. 

Abby Griffin smiles, and ushers her daughter along the sidewalk to where she had parked the car. “Definitely, but I wanna hear everything.” 

Her mother sounded happier than Clarke could ever feel when it came to Wells nowadays, and it caught her off guard.

Didn’t she see who Clarke was matched with? Did she even care? 

It was stupid, Clarke should’ve known that her mother only cares about reputation. She must be ecstatic to know that her daughter was matched with a son of the Jaha’s. The president’s children, it all made sense to her. 

It made Clarke want to break out into tears, a never-ending water fall of tears because no one wanted to see her truly happy. Her mother, Wells, they know how she feels about her father’s death. All of this wasn’t right, it didn’t feel anything close to what Clarke had dreamt of when she was twelve. 

Wells Jaha was her well-calculated match for love, her mother was happy about it, and she hadn’t see how Raven’s match went. 

Where did she go wrong? She was a clueless girl with her head leaning on the back-seat window, with tears pooling in her eyes just waiting to be released. 

_This isn’t what she thought the Match Banquet was going to be like, not in a million dreams_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!! I loved writing this Wells and Clarke banter at the end, and I hope everyone knows what I was trying to do with the past and present thing! I’ll remind you guys as the chapters continue, that UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, the story will be written in past tense.


	2. Maybe I'm Stuck In The Past, Not Willing To Let It Go.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and Wells have to meet up the next morning, and tensions are high as she meets with Thelonious Jaha for the first time after her father’s death. It also doesn’t help that there’s a man clearly furious who leaves Headquaters, and Clarke gets curious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, I'd love to say thank you to anyone who's read this so far. I hope you enjoy chapter two!

“ _Growing apart doesn't change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I'm glad for that.“_

**Matched** _—_ **Ally Condie**

* * *

_2_.

“How’s Wells doing?” 

Clarke rubs at her eyes, still feeling tired and annoyed for being up so early. Her fingers tap on the sides of her cup, as she tries to sound like nothing about the boy bothered her. “He’s okay, I didn’t have a lot of time to talk to him.” 

There was no way she would tell her mother why she brushed him off completely, and was the one that left him voluntarily. It would cause too many questions to be asked, and none she wanted to answer. 

“There was time to talk after you met, why not then? I didn’t mind waiting for you, Clarke.” Abby Griffin decides, taking a short sip of her morning coffee. Her dark hair was held up in a ponytail, not ready to be fully done. She works the early mornings, but it’s lighter on the days after the Match Banquet because the _hard_ part was already over. 

“Oh, he was busy.” Clarke replied swiftly as she looks down, “He left me after our time was up because his father wanted him.” ( _I left him because he thinks being the sole cause of my father being executed wasn’t a big deal_. 

_You seem to think so too, mom_.) 

Her mother frowns, like she’s disappointed and Clarke can’t understand why. She should know that people have short amounts of time with their match because it’s just the beginning, they would have the next morning to meet at city headquarters to review their feelings and initial thoughts anyways. 

Luckily for Clarke, she wanted it to be the end of her match with Wells. She couldn’t even tolerate his existence last night, but she needs to talk with officials anyways. So, that’s the only reason why she’s going to meet with Wells that morning besides the required meeting they had to be at, it was apart of her plan. The plan was to get these results changed as fast as possible. 

“Unfortunately, I know how Thelonious is so it must’ve been urgent if he interrupted his time with his match especially if it was you.” Her mother adds on. 

Clarke talks faster than her mind can keep up with, “How does he know that he got matched with me? He wasn’t even there.” 

“Honey, everyone saw from the promoters outside and we saw you both walk in at the same time. I’m just good at making predictions since you guys were so close, the results just had to be so similar with you two.”

Clarke’s eyebrows furrowed together as she looks at her mother confused, other parents could’ve seen her walk out of the room distressed and not interested? She thought the television was only for parents to see inside the main room and see the progress as the event went along. 

Her mother couldn’t of seen her like that right? It would’ve been embarrassing and too long of a story to tell. Her mother was right, although they weren’t friends anymore, they were alike. Clarke wouldn’t of been friends with him for that long if he wasn’t trustworthy or genuine. 

He was the one that broke her trust, that broke her heart into two pieces. She would never forgive him for what he caused her, Clarke is sure of it. 

“Did you see when I walked out of the room with him?” Clarke asks hesitantly, sipping her orange juice to try and stop her lips from trembling. 

Her mother shakes her hand, and Clarke exhales after she swallows. She was good, she was okay. Nobody saw how she reacted to her match, and that’s exactly what she wanted. Nobody could know how much she hated it, she needs to figure out her plans for the future first. 

If she went through with changing her match, it was waiting period of six years before the next. She may despise Wells but was she ready to give up six years of her life waiting for the perfect someone? 

“That’s why I came inside, to find you because I had hoped you would be a bit more hesitant to leave. Or, _at least_ be more excited about being matched with Wells.” Her mother’s frown returned as she sets her cup down, it was most likely empty because there was a sound when the ceramic hit the granite counter top. 

“I was tired, and there was just so many people around. You know how big crowds get to me, mom?” Clarke urges, setting her cup aside to stand. She hadn’t gotten dressed yet, still in pajamas and messy hair. 

For some reason, Clarke didn’t want to be in the room anymore, and took her cue to leave when her mother placed the cups in the sink. To answer herself, the answer was yes, it was worth it to change her results. 

She has one foot stepped into her bed room and hand on the handle when she hears, “Say hello to Wells for me!” 

Her jaw clenches, but Clarke forces a chipper response with a light tone. 

“Got it!” 

As much as Clarke didn’t want to say anything at all, it was only a greeting that her mother wanted to know about.

_Right?_

* * *

Clarke crosses her legs, hoping to relieve some of the anxiety in her body. Her fingers were already digging into the arm rests of the chair, just waiting for Wells to show up. 

The waiting room in the offical headquaters for match related things was a seperate section of the building itself. 

It was a huge facility in Polis, too busy to have been built in the quiet city of Arkadia. She was surrounded by a bunch of happy couples, the girl cuddling into the guy while hands were interlocked. 

(Clarke hopes to see Raven, to see any life of a girl with brown hair.) She regrets not taking her phone number, now. 

There was an empty seat reserved for Wells next to her, and just looking at it made Clarke want to scream. She still couldn’t believe it, it was funny _yet_ sad how things changed for them. She still doesn’t want him as her match, but Clarke didn’t like being the odd one out. 

It was awkward with no one to talk to. 

She distracts herself with the obvious thoughts wanting to circulate in her mind. How would Thelonious act when he sees her? They haven’t seen eachother since the funeral, and even then, Clarke wanted nothing to do with any authority watching her. It was too real, too painful to look at someone who caused you so much emotional struggle and _pain_.

Why couldn’t Clarke be happy? Like all the other couples she’s been seeing around her? Why couldn’t she smile like how the blonde girl — sitting to her left a few chairs down — was looking at her match, a familiar boy that Clarke remembered from her days at school. 

The girl’s eyes seemed to sparkle as the boy looked amazed with everything she was, and Clarke wants someone to look at her like that. 

“Hey, sorry I’m late.” Clarke looks to her left and sees Wells sit down in the chair next to her. “Do they know you’re here?” 

Clarke shakes her head, “I was waiting for you to show up, I just got here.” 

(That was such a lie, most people in the room know she’d been here for at least twenty minutes.) But it was worth playing it off to Wells, he didn’t need to know. 

He leans forward to take off his fleece coat, shrugging the sleeves off of his shoulders before replying, “Good, I’ll go find my dad then.” 

He gets up before Clarke can open her mouth to reply, but she watches him leave the room. She felt the urge to follow him, but he would think too much of it and she didn’t want him to assume that she’s changed her mind. _She hasn’t by the way._

She rubs her hands together, a nervous habit from when she was small. It wasn’t cold, but she could still feel the warmth of the friction she’s creating. It was something that calmed Clarke down, and she definitely didn’t want to lose her composure so early in the day. How was she gonna pull this off? After her match evaluation with Wells, Clarke planned on talking to other officials about how to change her results. She just hoped it would be easier than she’s anticipating. 

She sees Wells round the corner again before he has the chance to walk over to her, and Clarke holds her breath. He looked cheerful, like he was excited now. 

“Come on, let’s go.” He urges as he gets closer to Clarke. She looks back up at him confused. 

“Go where exactly? We just got here and there’s other people wai—“ 

Wells grabs his coat from where he left it on his chair, “My father wants to see us anyways. He’s thrilled that we got here so early so that we don’t disrupt anything.” 

Clarke stands up cautiously, taking notice of how a few people were eyeing the both of them carefully. “Wells, there’s people who’s been waiting before us. It’s not fair to them.” 

“Everyone is still going to get their chance Clarke, you know how these things are.” 

“ _Wells_ ,” Clarke warns, not feeling comfortable with acknowledging how privileged Wells can be in front of others. She just doesn’t want to seem needy, or _happy_ with how fast this was going. She doesn’t want to be seen as the girl who got matched with the president’s son, or the girl who gets everything handed to her. (Sadly, by the looks of it, and the whispers from the pair next to her...the talk already begun.) 

“I’m his son Clarke, he wants to see us.” 

Clarke decides not to fight anymore as she’s standing awkwardly in one position and can’t do anything about it. “Where is he?” 

Wells reaches his hand out to try and guide Clarke himself, but she backs away and moves alongside him instead. It was a rule that was established, no touching. 

He clears his throat, trying to relieve the awkwardness. “Uh— He’s the first door on your left when you walk down the corridor.” 

Clarke nods, following his directions. 

Anyone with a decent set of eyes, could see how beautiful this place was. The walls were adorned in paintings, the color of yellow; like a sunflower, could be seen all over. The furniture was built by Arkadia’s best, one of them being her grandfather from a long time ago: it’s something she takes great pride in. It was rustic and quite frankly, _old_. If anything, the smell reminded her of metal. _Like a rocket ship of some kind._

The president of Arkadia, the father of her former best friend, was Thelonious Jaha. He had been the mayor before the city council decided on announcing the addition of a president, and a six year term. It was easy for Clarke to forget that he had such a prestigious title, like her father Jake, they both had been obsessed with soccer and architecture growing up together. They were normal people, with normal families, but each of them got that ripped away from them. 

She turns the corner, seeing a wooden door slightly opened. It had his name fully written on the front, written in pride and acknowledgment. Clarke knocks lightly, afraid to take a deep breath. 

_She hasnt seen the man since her father’s funeral, the death that he caused. How was she supposed to act?_

Clarke feels terrified, but she still opens the door wider when Thelonious welcomes her into the room, “Clarke? It’s so nice to see you again.” 

“Likewise, Mr. Jaha. It’s been...a long time.” She says slowly, wishing for Wells to show up behind her and take the attention off of her. 

“Definitely too long, in my opinion. You know you can call me Thelonious, right Clarke?” 

She straightens her back, knowing the trick he’s trying to play. To pretend like nothing was wrong, but it wasn’t going to change anything.

“Yes _sir_ , I know.” 

Wells is suddenly in the room, and embracing his father in a hug. It was quick but firm, Clarke could even hear Wells rub his father’s back before he pulls away. 

“The both of you, please take a seat. This place is no stranger to either of you, so I hope you can be comfortable while we talk.” Thelonious asks, sitting down in his own chair behind his desk. It was almost a lounge chair, filled with soft cushion and leather. He was right, they knew the place well. Wells and Clarke would hang out here after school on most days, there was memories built in this room. 

Clarke sees two chairs in the middle of the room, right in front of his desk and knows that he wants them close. She tries her best to move the chair a bit farther away from Wells when she sits down. It worked for the few seconds before he scoots over to be closer. 

“So, you got matched together last night at the Banquet? Must’ve been a pleasant surprise for the both of you.” 

Wells smiles, and Clarke forces herself to look away. “It was, I was so happy to see Clarke standing in the middle of the room.” 

Thelonious turns to Clarke, waiting for her answer to the question. Knowing the man so well, she knew that she had to answer him. It was difficult when it felt like she was being swallowed by quick sand and feeling like she suddenly couldn’t breathe. 

Clarke answers, her hands are fixed in her lap. “It was good...a _nice_ surprise like you said.”

“That’s great to hear, I always knew that you two would be a fantastic couple.” 

Wells chuckles, “It’s been a long time since we’ve seen eachother dad, I couldn’t ask her out even if I wanted to. She would always ignore me.”’

Clarke feels her body turn rigid, she didn’t want to explain anything to Thelonious. Why would Wells say that? 

“Is that so?” His father turns to Clarke with a weak smile, “Is there a reason why it’s been so long?” 

_He knows the reason, and now this feels like a set-up_. 

Clarke could feel her hands start to shake so she interlocks them, she manages to stutter out, “After the funeral sir, I couldn’t be around a lot of people.” 

“It’s been a year, Clarke. I’m sure Wells could’ve been a good support system for you.” Thelonious adds on, taking no consideration into how Clarke is shifting in her seat. 

“I’m sure you’d understand that my father was very important to me.” Clarke says with gritted teeth. She was minutes away from walking out, angry tears are stuck in the back of her throat just waiting to be released. 

“Of course, I do. He was a good man who inspired us all, but it’s time to move on Clarke.” Thelonious urged, nodding to his son who’s sat beside her. 

Her body felt like it was on fire, filled with warmth and a over-bearing amount of nerves and anger. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing come from the mouth of the person who had a vote in killing such a _inspiring_ man. 

She doesn’t hear Wells step into the conversation very well, her ears are numb and she chooses to not pay attention as much as she should. 

“Dad, she still isn’t ov-“ 

Thelonious reaches to grab his glasses and the files next to him, “She should be and trust me, I know how long you’ve been waiting for this Wells. You’re the best man for her and I want her to know that.” 

Clarke stands abruptly, feeling herself sway with unbalanced feet. She didn’t want to be in the room or conversation any longer, she couldn’t stay there. It didn’t even matter that Wells tried to stand up for her. 

“I don’t want to be with Wells, and I never want you to talk about my father.” 

Thelonious stares coldly, “Clarke, I know you still care about my son.” 

She shakes her head, “Not like before, not like I used to. I don’t want to be here anymore.” Something still doesn’t feel right, so Clarke whispers to herself and glances towards the door. 

She takes one last look at Thelonious and the slight frown on his face, he looked so much like his son. The thought alone, makes Clarke walk out of the room in a fast pace. She didnt want to draw any attention to herself leaving on her own, but she did want to make a point. 

It makes her mind spin in circles, what if Wells did change her results? His father seemed too eager to know her feelings about him, and it made her feel scared underneath all her anger bubbled up inside her. 

All she wants to do is go home, go back to sleep and drown out the noise in her head. It’s what she wants desperately but doesn’t get, because she hears a loud noise come from one of the open doors of another room. It makes her stop in her way out the door, and listen. 

“ _Come on? Please I’ll do anything to change this. I dont need a match, I don’t want to be with anybody.”_

The voice is deep, older and definitely more worried than Clarke is about her situation. It sounded like the guy was close to tears _._

_“Sir—I’m sorry but I can’t. Your sister isn’t qualified yet, she isn’t even in the system—“_

“ _You’ve got to be kidding me_ , _I don’t even know who my match is! I didnt even know I had one in the first place!”_

_“That’s not my fault sir—I’m telling you I can’t do anything about this situation. I’ll be glad to send you to main headquarters but your sister isn’t in the system; and hasn’t done anything to prove that she’s worthy to be qualified.”_

The voice inflates, sounding defeated and raspy _. “Are you sure, there’s nothing I can do? I can’t switch spots with her? She’s only two years younger than me and she’s turning eighteen in a few weeks. Please, I just want what’s best for her and she wants this so bad.”_

_“Sir—I’m so sorry, I truly cant do anything to help you.”_

With those final words, Clarke didn’t realize that her feet were glued to the floor, just staring at the door where the voices were coming from, and a wave of sadness overcomes her. The guy had it worse than her, that’s for sure. 

She wants to move, but she was so invested into what happened next. She stays, and Clarke lets out a small gasp when she sees a man walk out. He was tall, at least a few inches taller than Clarke, and had a head full of curly black hair. If she was being honest, the man was beautiful even with a sour look on his face. He was looking down, probably to avoid the eyes that he knows were focused on him and Clarke felt so bad. Guilt was all she could feel, knowing how focused she was on his conversation. It wasn’t right. 

She keeps his eyes on the back of his head as he angrily shoved the door closed when he leaves, and her heart beat intensified. Clarke fights the urge to go after him and ask for the full story because he has it so much worse than a girl trying to fix her results, when all he wanted to do was switch spots with his own sister. 

She wants to help him, Clarke decides but then a wave of reality rushes back. 

She couldnt even see his eyes, how did his face look like? It was a question she couldn’t answer, and how can she help a stranger? No clue. 

“Hey, you can’t just storm off like that Clarke, no matter what my dad said.” 

A voice calls from behind her, grabbing her arm but she still won’t turn. Clarke forgot what she had done, and Wells didn’t sound pleasantly surprised to the slightest. “Clarke?” 

She turns finally, shaking her head and frowning.

“What?” 

Wells looks at her in sort of disbelief and says, “ _What_? You just stormed out of my dad’s office when he was asking us a question.” 

Clarke takes a step backwards as she’s remembering why she wanted to leave so eagerly before. 

“He disrespected my father, and I’m basically fuming with anger for the both of you at the moment.” 

“You can’t be serious, right?” Wells reaches out to grab her hand, something he was strictly told not to do. Seriously, what the hell is up with him? He takes a deep breath, “My father just wants us to be happy and he knows how hurt we were when Jake died.” 

Clarke pulls her arm back forcefully the second she feels his fingers brush the back of her hand, hating how the smallest fraction of her heart lurched at the contact. She always gets so vulnerable when it came to talking about her father, it wasn’t fair. 

“So you’re just gonna pretend like it didn’t hurt me more? All we talk about is my dad, and it’s pretty overwhelming for me, Wells.” She says, blinking away what she thinks is tears forming in her eyes. 

They both look around, cautious of saying the wrong thing in front of a waiting room of people who are happy and anxious. Especially after the curly haired, mysterious, guy walked out of the place with embarrassment written all over his face, Clarke didn’t want to start anything to draw attention. 

Wells clears his throat, leaning forward to whisper, “That’s the only grudge you have against me, and that was a year ago.” 

“Twelve months isn’t exactly an eternity that’s passed, it’s something I’ll never be over. I can heal Wells, but I don’t want to be around you when I do.” 

“Why is that?” He leans back, back into his original position with his posture straight and stiff. It’s something he does when he’s nervous. 

As she’s walking backwards to the front door once again, she replies in a soft voice that he may not of even heard. 

“I don’t want to forgive you, I’m getting tired already of seeing you everyday and feeling so much hate for you.” 

Clarke knows he heard some of it, that’s why he’s averting her gaze constantly when she looks back at him for the last time. It’s only a stronger reminder of how much she needed to do something about her match results, she needs to get away from Wells. She _wants_ to get away from him and forget he even existed in her life, but she knows she won’t go back in there, not while Wells is standing alone and definitely not when Thelonious would be asking where she went. 

So much for a change of plans, huh? 

She needs help, and there’s only one person that comes to mind for Clarke when she’s walking home. She has to call the one person who helped her prepare for this _stupid_ thing, so that he can help tear it back down to scratch. 

A new beginning, Clarke really likes the melodic sound of that. 

* * *

Clarke is flipping through the phone book that’s usually stored away in her kitchen drawers, but it’s one of those rare occasions. She’s half way through the last names that started with _G,_ when she hears the key unlock to enter the house. 

“Mom?” Clarke calls out, her head popping up and some pieces of her blonde hair fall in her face. 

She hears the keys clack together until it’s silent, and a heavy purse being set down. “Yes?” 

“Just out of curiousity, do you have Marcus Kane’s number in the phone book? I need...” She debates whether or not she should tell the truth, but it was harmless at this stage of her thoughts. It shouldn’t be a big deal, but Clarke continues, “I need it to call him.” 

Her mother’s face comes into view as she walks into the room, and Clarke could already see the bags under her eyes. 

“Sweetie, why would you need that? The Match Banquet is over, and you already have—“ _Wells, of course_. 

Clarke interrupts her, she explains further. “I-I just want to talk to him about my match. He helped me so much and I wanna thank him.” 

Her palms feel sweaty, her fingers are nervously grazing the pages that she was holding the places of so that she didn’t lose track. She doesn’t want to lie, but it technically wasn’t a lie yet. 

“Okay, sure.” Her mother doesn’t seem convinced but she’s tired and doesn’t see the issue with calling an old friend. “He should be listed as one of the first people under his name....Tell him I said hello.” 

When Clarke knows she’s gone, she turns back around to continue her search through the book. She’s mumbling to herself constantly, wondering why it would be this difficult to find someone and why her mother had so many people contacted, before she finds it. 

It read _Marcus Kane_ , a name that’s accompanied with a seven digit number underneath. Clarke grabs her phone that was left on the counter before she walked in here a mere hour prior, and starts dialing. It didn’t take long for her to realize that it was Kane’s work number, but she hoped that he would pick up anyways. Clarke needs to work but she can't do it without expert advice, but just when worry fills every bone in her body-

"Hello, Abby?" His voice was firm as he greeted her, but it wasn’t the person he thought it was. 

Clarke stutters, "Uh, no...It's Clarke Griffin." 

She rubs her hands against the sides of her jeans, but Marcus laughs. _Definitely not what she expected_. 

"What a surprise, I haven't talked to you since we finished those sessions a few weeks ago but how are you Clarke? I hope it's all good things you're about to tell me if you went through the trouble of calling me." 

Clarke is afraid that her mother will walk in on her conversation and get suspicious, so she talks low. "Everything was okay before the Banquet, I was prepared because of you but I wasn't at all prepared for what happened after." 

"Why are you so quiet?" Concern fills his voice, and she could hear him lean closer into the phone receiver. "Are you alright?" 

"That's the problem, _well_ more like, someone is the problem." Clarke argues as she runs her hands through her hair, sighing. "I got matched with someone I despise and I told them I never wanted to see them again." 

The words finally leave her mouth, causing her to cringe. She really said all that? 

" _God_ , Clarke...You made me think something was seriously bothering you-" Marcus takes a sigh of relief, a sound of a chair squeaking backwards makes Clarke think that a burden was lifted off his shoulders. "I've known you for so long, don't scare me like that." 

"Tell me his name! Why is he so much trouble, Clarke, you know how tough it is to switch your results to another person just because you don't like them at first." 

Clarke turns to lean against the counter, the nerves creeping back up her spine. "It's Wells, as in Wells _Jaha_." 

It's silent for a few seconds, and Clarke wants him desperately to understand why she feels the way she did. 

" _Oh_. I'm sorry Clarke." 

She's speechless, expecting a better answer. "Is that it?" 

"What do you want me to say?" Marcus sighs and she could only imagine him rolling his eyes at her comment. "Clarke, it's not anyone's fault, he was the one who got closest in personality results to you. It's fair." 

Clarke doesn't want to cry, but she can't help a heat of anger rise in her chest and up her throat. It was burning, but she didn't want to give up on winning him over. 

"You know what he did to me, please Marcus....My results-" She pleads, until he seems to get what she's asking. 

"Clarke, you're asking me to change your match results? Do you not realize how much trouble I'd be in?" Marcus asks with a harsh tone, his voice was getting louder than before but it still wouldn't scare her. _She's too stubborn at this point_. 

In a exaggerated sigh, Clarke manages to blurt out a solution. "No! I'm not asking you to change my results personally, I just want you to _help_ me change them so that Wells isn't my match." 

"That's the same thing, so I'm sorry-" 

"Please, I can't be with him." Clarke admits, "I don't want to be with him, how am I supposed to fall in love with someone who caused my whole world to fall apart Kane? I would hope that you wouldn't want that for me." 

"Are you trying to guilt me into this? I can't believe you." 

Clarke nervously laughs, "It worked?" 

He swallows hard, Clarke instantly knows how hard it must be for him to want to agree to something that could hurt him but she needs him to be apart of this. There's no way she could tell her mom because she would get shut down immediately, and nobody else could even match to the amount of trust and faith she has much in Kane. Now that her father is gone, Kane is the next best thing. He's the only guy in her life that can guide her through it, and Clarke realizes it now. 

"Yeah, it worked on me. Clarke, I'm risking so much for this..." He starts, "It better be worth my time, and it's only because I want you to be happy and I didn't spend all my afternoons preparing you for the events of the Banquet for _nothing."_

"This means so much, thank you Kane." Clarke shuts her eyes and smiles, gratitude spreads through her body and she feels so much better already. This would all be fixed and dealt with, she finally had someone to help her on such short notice. 

"Anything else you wanna ask me kid? Any organs? Any life support?" He's joking, the humor clear as day when Clarke couldn't help but grin. "You know what, yeah I have one more question to ask." 

Marcus waits for an answer, and Clarke couldn't hold herself back. She had to tell someone about the angry man she saw earlier that day, it was a sudden burst of thought that made Clarke insanely curious. 

"You work with Aberrnations, right?" 

"Sometimes, yes. What's the problem?" 

Clarke frowns, "When I was at headquarters earlier, there was this man who seemed really angry with his match. He kept saying that he was willing to trade spots with his sister because of how bad she wanted to be included.." She doesn't catch how her voice gets more harsh and angry as she elaborates further, but it does. "-I don't know why I'm so caught up on it, I've never seen anyone reject their match for someone else they claim deserves it." 

"Hmm, how do you know he's one of them?" 

It's the first thing that comes to mind and it’s like a match that can’t be burned out. "He speaks for himself, I've never seen one of the city people so outspoken before. I could only imagine how much anger that an Aberration can feel when they first enter the system." 

Marcus speaks slow, like he's storytelling but Clarke could practically tell when the man smiles. "You're in luck, cause I do know exactly who you're talking about." 

"Are you gonna tell me?" Clarke feels giddy suddenly. 

"The guy you probably saw today was talking about his sister, Octavia Blake..." Marcus pauses and tries to clear his throat but he still decides to tell her anyways. "-and then there's Bellamy, her older brother who also happens to be qualified for citizenship here, in Arkadia." 

Clarke inhales sharply, connecting the dots in her head. "He doesn't want to be separated from his sister?" 

"Would you want to be separated from your mother?" 

She gasps in response. _Why would she want to leave the only family she has left?_ In that moment, all Clarke wants to do is give whoever this Bellamy guy was a nice hug and wrap her arms around him. She feels more terrible now than she did when he stormed away into the world earlier in the day, it must've been so hard to accept the fact that your world came crashing down and there's nothing to stop it. 

_Clarke knows that feeling all too much._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave any comments or kudos, it's greatly appreciated and just once again, thank you for stopping by and reading this! Find me on twitter, @/expctctions. I'm truly a bellarke mess 99% of the time so come say hi.


	3. Paint Me The Sky

“ _Now that I've found the way to fly, which direction should I go into the night?_ ”

 **Matched** — **Ally Condie**

* * *

_3._

Clarke wipes at the edge of her notebook paper, getting rid of the eraser shavings that rubbed against her drawing. The day was rather calm, a light breeze and a warm sun that heated the patches of green next to her. She twirls her wooden pencil carefully, afraid to make any irrelevant marks. It was a free sketch, but _still_. The mountains she drew were high and covered in vines and dull colors of brown and grey, accompanied with small dashes of yellow for a sunrise and light blue skies. She drew faint images of people in the background, dressed in rough material and lightly shaded skin. She called them mountain men, because of their easy minds and beautiful sights to wake up to. The ease that she felt when drawing made Clarke's mind go blank, knowing it was a sight she's drawn multiple times in her sketchbook. It was only different this time, it was for the place she imagined, where she'd rather be to get away from her troubles. The only company she'd have would be animals and plants, but she'd take it over the busy city life and terrible outcomes. It didn't seem like a bad place to be right now. 

It's been a few days since she last spoke to Marcus about everything related to her match, and she hoped that he didn't change his mind. He didn't sound as welcoming as she had wanted, but then again, Clarke was risking her own reputation and well-being too. It wasn't about making him feel obligated to do this for her, Clarke knows that he would be the best person to help her with this. Even with her valuable traits on the line, it would be worth it to be truly happy. She hasn't felt that feeling in a long time, and she craved it at this point in her life. The beginning of her week was something she doesn't want to remember ever again, the memories flood back as Clarke shades a few lighter spots on her page to seem darker. 

She had felt so prepared for the best possible outcome, not for the worst. Clarke wants to hate herself for not thinking about the chances of Wells being her match but she ultimately couldn't. How can she hate the possibility of ending up with someone she hadn't cared about for twelve months? She tried so hard to forget about the good times, to forget about the constant need for a shoulder to lean on but never got because he was gone, her best friend betrayed her and he was _gone_. She was completely alone after her father died, her mother had chose to dive into her workload more than she already did, leaving Clarke behind to bask in the empty and cold feeling in her chest every minute of the day. Even with the sun out reflecting on her glass windows, Clarke would always feel cold and like nothing could change that. After a few months, her mom would start to care for her daughter again and be involved, but it never was the same. _She has to do better for herself now_. 

That's why she's doing this. 

Not to spite Wells or his heartless father (Although, it would be a added plus), but to make herself feel like the old girl that had her two parents still alive and in love, who cared for her like she was the one person to make their lives worth living. Clarke reaches into the bag that holds her colored pencils, taking out a variety of yellows to color in the sunrise she drew earlier, leaving it for last because it's what interests her the most. She really likes to draw, that's no doubt in anyone's mind who knew her, but she liked to draw things with meaning. 

The sun rises and falls every single day, releasing a bright light into the world. It's a sense of beginning in Clarke's eyes, how it always leaves for the night and comes back into the lives of the people looking exactly the same. It's something that leaves her everyday, and comes back looking the same, shining in her face to remind her of why it's there. 

Truly, Clarke could say light follows her everywhere. She only wishes that it lasts because she has a long road to hike in the next few weeks to change her life, and her path can't go into darkness just yet.She grabs a pencil from the few enclosed in her left hand, labeled canary yellow, and looks up from her paper to the sunrise in front of her from time to time and tries to match the view as best she can without stopping. It's like time stood still, and Clarke couldn't help but smile softly to herself. She already has the ability to focus on things that matter to her, that's what she needs to tell Marcus. 

It doesn't take long for the drawing to be finished, a whole page covered with nice colors and accents that took longer than expected to fully shade, but it was relaxing. She needed to leave the house after her mother left for work that morning, so she grabbed her sketchpad and her bag of art supplies and left to go sit somewhere. She ended up finding a empty bench near the local park named after the former town of Polis, it was small and quiet, and she stayed. The streets were getting filled now, and that's how Clarke knows it's well past sunrise and people should be getting up for work or school. She packs away her things quietly, wanting to relish in the sweet surroundings of silence as the world seems to wake up around her. Clarke reaches beside her to grab her sketchbook that she saved for last because she hates when it gets wrinkled, but someone sits next to her instead. 

_This is new_. 

"Your name is Clarke, right?" 

Her body goes rigid, how would anyone know that? It's a stupid question to ask herself, _she knows_ , but most people in Arkadia who knew Clarke before her father died now thought of her as a traitor and suspicious so they steered away for the most part. Unless, it was someone she already knows. The curiosity wins and Clarke turns quickly, only to smile wide when she realizes that it was the girl she met from the night of the Banquet. 

"Yeah, it's me." She says in awe, remembering the girl's name in an instant. "Raven, right? I remember you from the Banquet." 

She goes to shut the flap from her bag, giving her new friend her full attention. It was a surprise seeing her again, because she wasn't sure if she would ever see the worrisome girl and even if she did, Clarke wasn't sure if she was interesting enough to keep in touch. Raven doesn't hold back as she pulls the girl into her arms, wrapping an arm around her shoulders to hug her. The material of Raven’s jean jacket is tough against the soft fabric of Clarke’s sweater. 

However, Clarke doesn't want it to be awkward so she hugs back when she realizes what's happening, smiling into the Raven's shoulder. "So, how has everything been these past few days? Who did you get matched with?" 

Raven sighs, pulling back so that her back hits the steel of the bench. "It's been crazy, that's for sure." Clarke's eyebrows furrow together, wondering how hard things could've gotten for her friend but she keeps listening. "The guy is nice, sweet and _insanely_ cute."

"Is that a problem for you?" Clarke asks, noticing how Raven's face is similar to the one she saw that night. She looked nervous, scared and excited all at once but Clarke wanted to know more. "He doesn't sound bad, I'd say you're lucky Raven." 

Raven blushes, her cheeks a tint of red and she's trying not to show how giddy she was. "He's great Clarke, we're into the same things and he works in aviation and he already said he would take me up in a helicopter ride someday, and-" The nerves come rushing back to her, she continues "-I'm really starting to like him." 

"Again, what's the problem?" Clarke repeats her question, rubbing Raven's shoulder in comfort. She may of known the girl for a short period of time, but it felt like it's been months with how easy the conversation seemed the flow for the second time. 

Raven shakes her head, "Finn doesn't like him at all, like _at all_." She tries to empathize but sees the confused look on Clarke's face so she jerks up because she forgot to tell her who the guy was.

" _Oh!_ " She sits upright and faces the girl beside her with her hands folded in her lap. "He's my best friend, he's the only family I have left." She clarifies, her face blushes further. 

"If he wants you to be happy then he should accept who you got matched with, it's not your fault that you get along so well with the guy already." Clarke shrugs with her simple words and teases her friend. "He has to be jealous Raven." 

Clarke remembered when she spoke about someone that meant a lot to her at the Banquet, how assuring she tried to be to someone she's never met. Raven shakes her head vigorously, "That isn't true, he's been my best friend since we were small and he would never-" 

"I was just being a tease, I didn't mean to scare you..." Clarke laughs when Raven's shoulders lose their sudden tension. 

"His name is Zeke Shaw, and he's a year older than us but just got put into the system a few months back. Apparently, he had connections with a woman who works for President Jaha, but I haven't seen him since yesterday." 

"Since yesterday? It's only been a day Raven and you miss him already?" Clarke exclaims, bumping her shoulder into Raven's. 

Raven scoffs, "What? It's called getting attached!" 

It's silent after that, Clarke doesn't know what to say. She doesn't experience that with her match, and feels sick just thinking about growing attached to Wells again. She can't feel what Raven is feeling about Zeke because she isn't like that with the person she got matched with. She can't relate to anything. After taking a deep breath, Clarke says "I wish I had that Raven, you seriously have it so good." 

"How so? You don't get along with your match?" 

Clarke knows the other girl is intrigued with the topic of discussion revolving around her, because of how she could feel a stare on the side of her face even when she looks away. "More like, I don't want anything to do with the boy I got matched with." 

Raven bites her lip, and her hand lands on Clarke's knee. "I'm sorry you guys don't get along, but are you sure there's nothing to make you want to try and figure out why you don't like him? It's only been a few days." 

Clarke lets herself feel guilty for not wanting to stay with Wells, knowing how Raven was expressing her sorrow for her problems. It's what friends do but Clarke hasn't had any in a while so it's gonna take some getting used to, because she isn't sure what the right thing was to do. "We were best friends and then he did something horrible and it broke my trust in him, and we hadn't spoken in about a year until I saw him on the other end of the room on the night of the Banquet."

She doesn't glance at Raven as she explains because it was personal and felt like a little girl explaining why she doesn't like someone, but her natural instinct is to look at her when she hears a soft thud and the sound of legs being crossed. 

"It's weird how these things work, I'll never understand." 

"Raven, you like your match though and that's different from me." 

Clarke gets pulled by the arm and now she's in the same position as her friend, "Will you let me feel any sympathy for you? I feel terrible." 

"I'm saying no only because-" Clarke adjusts herself and lets her head hang from the back of the bench as she looks up into the sky. She's thinking of the drawing that took away most of her early morning, she smiles unsure if Raven could see. "I have a plan to fix it." 

"Really now? Are you going to share because I would love to know how you're gonna change your match re-" Clarke looks over in the exact moment when Raven's eyes go wide and she shoots up in her position in shock. "Y-You're gonna change your results?" 

"I want to be happy Raven, and Wells isn't going to do that for me." 

It seems like her eyes get bigger, "Wells....as in Thelonious Jaha's one and only son?" 

" _Bingo_ , he was my match and former best friend." Clarke lifts herself back into a comfortable position and stays calm. Raven looks around in disbelief before she rubs her face to try and make sense of all this. "You got matched with the president's son and don't wanna stay with him? Clarke, he would open so many doors for you in the future, this is huge!" 

"Trust me Raven, if you knew what he did to me, you would gladly agree with me on all this." She replies sadly, trying her hardest not to frown. 

“You’ll never forgive him? Clarke, how bad was this for you?” Raven sympathizes, putting a hand on her leg and leaning closer. 

“Let’s just say...” Clarke pauses and puts a hand on top of Raven’s, _this is what friends were for_. “I can’t be with someone who took my dad away from me.” 

She tries her best not to spill the real details, but it gets harder because it’s like Clarke can tell her anything. She really missed having a best friend, or any friend at all. 

Raven shakes her head, obviously confused. “He was your best friend? And he did that to you?” 

“What a _great_ best friend he was, right?” 

Neither of them know what to say, but Clarke is grateful that Raven Reyes ended up finding her again and took the time to sit down next to her and have a conversation. She'd been hoping to see the girl again, excited to see where their friendship goes and she got her wish. With a silly grin on her lips, she looks up and sees a familiar head of shoulder-length brown hair walk on the other side of the park, and her attention is lost. 

"Hey, you're dazing out on me here." 

Clarke knows Raven was telling her something, but her smile just gets wider. 

All because she recognizes the white lab coat heavy on Kane's shoulders from a distance, _this is her chance to talk to him._

She quickly puts her sketchbook in her bag after finding it beside her, rambling to the girl beside her. "I have to go meet someone!" 

Clarke doesn't leave until Raven hands her a small piece of paper with her name and phone number, grinning wide so that her cheeks must hurt. 

"I've been dying to give this to you, I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to be friends with you" 

Clarke nods and pulls her hand back, putting the paper in her back pocket as she looks around to see where Kane had gone. This is only the beginning of the chapter in her life she actually _wants_ to start. 

* * *

There wasn't a lot of places she suspected Kane would go. 

The one place she goes to first - his office - is where she finds him luckily. It was a good thing too, because her sketchbook was a little big to be shoved into her bag so quickly and it was uncomfortable after a while. It wasn't a long jog over, but Clarke still manages to feel winded and out of breath. 

Clarke notices the woman at the front desk, her name was Emori and they really have never spoken before but they both know the other exists. It was a mutual feeling, so Clarke left her alone when she walks into the room. She didn't like to mess with people who intimidated her, especially when the older woman has a dark green tattoo adorning the left side of her face. Kane's office was small, not as big as her mother's lab where Kane would go sometimes but it felt cozy. It was dimly lit because it was roughly eight in the morning and there wasn't no need to turn on all the lights because of the sunlight pouring into the open windows. She was busy looking around, realizing everything was the same from the last time she walked in here just a few months ago, when Emori gets her attention by tapping on the table that she leaned over. 

"He's in the other room, Marcus just got here a few minutes ago.” 

Clarke beats her to it, "Thank you for letting me know, and good morning Emori!" She felt herself buzzing. 

She doesn't waste time walking to Kane's door, lifting a hand to wave when she hears the other woman sigh to herself. "Nice to see you too, Clarke" 

Suddenly, she's standing in front of the door and she's nervous. Clarke can't back away, knowing she already spoke to Emori and made the small trip over here to talk to Kane hoping to come up with a few suggestions on how to move forward. She just has to remind herself that she could do this, that she's strong and hardworking....she could do this without anyone finding out. She was starting to feel calm when the voices seemed to get louder as her hand moved on the door knob. _Voices_. Clarke can't stop herself from awkwardly twisting the handle with a light knock, because she was too close to stop now. Her face is already heating up, praying that he was just on the phone and that she isn't interrupting anything imp-

"Come in!" She hears Kane's voice, and his face softens when he sees that it was Clarke behind the door. "Oh, hello Clarke." 

Clarke immediately smiles at him, it's something she's grown used to doing when it came to talking to the man. It was normal to feel this wave of relief and comfort when she spotted him in a room, but she swallows harshly when she noticed the one thing she was so nervous about. _His landline was still hooked on the dial_. 

She looks to her right, stepping forward to close the door behind her. "I could leave, I didn't mean to intrude." 

Then, a new voice speaks up and joins the conversation. "If it's important that you need to interrupt my time with Marcus, it won't bother me if you talk." Clarke knows the man is forcing a smile, she could tell from how tight his jaw suddenly was. She backs away and her back hits the door, shocked with the bitterness of his voice. 

" _Bellamy_ ," Marcus warns, noticing how Clarke is fidgeting with her fingers with her hands locked behind her. 

Clarke freezes, this was the boy that she had talked about with Marcus. It was _him_. No wonder she thought he was so mysterious and strong minded, the guy was willing to snap at anyone who interrupted him. How many times has he done that to people? One thing was for sure, the initial feeling of admiration she felt for him when he slammed the door in Headquarters was gone. 

"I didn't say anything! She just barged in the room, and you know her!" Bellamy's focus is back on Kane, who has his arms crossed. 

Kane sighs, "Just because I know Clarke, doesn't take anything away from this discussion." He looks to Clarke, she looked annoyed as she rolled her eyes. "Clarke, will you go wait outside in the lobby, I'll get you when I'm done with talking to him." 

She nods quietly, "Sorry about _barging_ into the room, Marcus. I didn't know..." Clarke mocks, staring at the back of Bellamy's head. It's the same messy and curly head of black hair that keeps her intrigued. Just like how she remembered. 

Clarke opens the door again, stepping out into the hall and doesn't close it until after hearing Bellamy start talking again.

_So much for the attitude towards her._

"-Sure, get the princess whatever she needs right?" 

Kane replies back in a striking tone, "It was a mistake, will you calm down? You never act like this, and I'll get rid of you if you annoy me too much." 

Bellamy takes a deep breath, and she peeks into the room before she closes the door just to see him lean forward and run his fingers through his hair. "Can we just get back to what we were talking about before? I have a list of questions to ask from Octavia." 

_Princess_ , really? It was a word that Clarke was farthest from, something she'll never call herself. She shuts the door loudly, just to fuel the anger that rose so quickly. This was the same person who wanted to do anything for his sister? She can't help but think about him more when she settles down in the chair in the corner of the room, she's alone again. 

She hears Emori call out, a hint of sudden concern. "I forgot to tell you he was with someone, everything's okay?" 

Clarke nods faster than she could think of how she was really feeling about Bellamy, he wasn't like what he seemed to be. "All good, thanks."


	4. All These Crossed Wires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After another encounter with Bellamy that gives Clarke more reasons to hate him, she finally had a chance to talk to Marcus about the phone call a few days before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I just wanted to say thank you to anyone and everyone who's been enjoying the past few chapters of this story. I can't get enough of it myself, and I'm so excited to see where this goes. Enjoy! This chapter is about to shake everything up. (By the way, incase people haven't noticed, the quotes that begin each chapter are from the actual book this story is inspired from.)

_" _Our time together feels like a storm, like a wild wind and rain, like something too big to handle but too powerful to escape._ " _

__**Matched**_ \- **Allie Condie.** _

* * *

_4._

" _Hey_ ,” 

Clarke startled awake, feeling someone tap her on the shoulder. She looks around in a daze, following the voice she hears. 

“Marcus wanted me to get you, he told you that he was gonna call you in when I was done.” She looks up, seeing Bellamy with a light smile on his face. He was amused, and for what? He was the one that woke her up. 

Clarke shakes her head to try and focus but it wasn’t coming easy. She had been drawing for fifteen minutes before she had just fallen asleep. Her elbow suddenly aches with the pressure from her head, and she sighs. “Yeah, I remember now, so thank you.” 

“No need to thank me, I’m just doing what I’m asked.” Bellamy replies swiftly and chooses not to even look at her. He takes a knitted hat from his pocket and puts it on his head, pretending to not even be talking to her. 

_Wow, how nice of him_? 

“He’s ready for me?” She holds onto the sketchbook in her hands, unsure if it was her business to ask him what’s on her mind. “It seemed like you had a lengthy conversation with him.” 

He glares down at her, with harsh eyes and the smile was gone. Did he think she was judging him? His face goes blank, his words were cold. “We had a lot of things to talk about, I’ve heard good things about him from other people and I needed his help.” 

Clarke sits up straighter, feeling the grip loosen on her sketchbook and it begins to tilt on her lap. He definitely knew how to speak with a hardness to his voice, he knew how to be around people he didn’t like. He was closed off just like she was. 

It was working. 

“Marcus helped me prepare for the Banquet for months, he’s great with this kind of stuff.” She comments, leaving Bellamy to frown. Although, it’s gone as soon as she notices. 

“Why are you here?” Bellamy asks, the curiousity getting the best of him. “If he prepared you so much? Shouldn’t you be happy with whoever you were matched with?” 

The question stumped her, why would she tell him the truth? He didn’t deserve to know, and she barely knows him. She settles for the basic answer, wanting Bellamy to get off her case. 

“Probably for the same reason you have...to fix my issues with society.” Clarke says softly, knowing his problems beforehand was a weakness. It’s a weakness for him too, she notices when his hands shove into his jean pockets and his jaw locks again. She swears he’s always angry. 

“What problems do you have that could possibly match up to mine?” He asks loudly, even with nobody else sitting around them. 

She shrugs, “ _Problems_ that I don’t need to tell you about.”

He smiles at her avoiding the subject and tilts his head, “I’m starting to think the _princess_ doesn’t have any?” 

“Don’t call me that.” She demands. 

“I find it an adorable nickname, and I think it suits you.” He snaps, and Clarke shuts her eyes angrily. She can’t handle this guy, he’s annoying. 

“It suits me? I’m nowhere near a princess, Bellamy. It’s a stupid thing to say to someone you don’t know anything about.” 

He stares at her - his eyes were big and brown - with his freckles that seemed to pop, and Clarke thinks she would classify him as being cute if he wasn’t such a terrible person. 

“I've known you for a total of five minutes, and I definitely don't need to know you any further." He scoffs, crossing his arms. "I've already seen enough of how careless you are, _Clarke_." He mocks the new knowledge he has as he says her name with a forced smile.

Clarke narrows her eyes, feeling her face get hot with either embarrassment or rage, she couldn’t tell. Bellamy keeps bringing it up, finding ways to highlight her mistakes when they were accidents. “Look, it seems like you're still mad at me about earlier, but it was an accident. I didn't mean to interrupt you, so can you drop it? _It was nothing_." She looks up at his face, only to see him roll his eyes at her like it was annoying him to listen. "Not to mention, you weren’t such a nice guy either.” 

"It's hard to believe that people like you can make mistakes." 

"It's called being a human being," Clarke snickers, finally losing her composure just a little. He was trying so hard to get under her skin, and she was _letting_ him. "It isn't difficult to admit your faults, but you seem to have trouble with that, since you think you're such a tough guy." 

That breaks something within Bellamy, and she notices a prominent vein in his neck threaten to pop, and his lips were in a flat line. Clarke couldn't help but smile because of the small victory, she was annoying him too and she was glad that the favor was returned. Two could play at this game, and she was ready. 

“You’re right! I’m far from decent, far from being a good guy.” Bellamy takes a few steps backwards, towards the front door. 

She bites back, feeling the slight anger in her chest again. “Thanks for the sudden enlightenment that I _totally_ needed to know!” 

Bellamy huffs out angrily before mumbling words she didn't understand, leaving the office before either of them could get a second glance at eachother. The room goes silent again, and Clarke realizes why she was here again. She wasn't here to fight with Bellamy, she was here for Marcus and he was in his office waiting to talk to her. 

She shoves the sketchbook into her bag again, careful not to look at Emori who must be laughing at her because of the conversation with Bellamy and stands to walk to Marcus Kane’s office. She would rather save herself the embarrassment, so she stares straight ahead as she walks. _She got this, Clarke could do this_. 

* * *

Marcus doesn’t waste any time, ushering Clarke into the room and telling her to sit in front of his desk as she sets her bag aside, letting it rest against her legs. "First of all, I’d just like to apologize on behalf of Bellamy. He doesn’t give off the best impression, but he’s a caring guy.” 

_Caring_? He seems far from it. 

Clarke forces a smile, small and respectful. “I bet he is, maybe next time I could be—” 

“You did nothing wrong, he’s just a kid with a lot of past issues that he wants to fix himself. “ Marcus cuts her off with a pause, running his fingers through his hair like he’s stressing more than Clarke can see. “His own sister had to convince him to come see me instead of causing a scene at Headquaters again.” 

“He was angry then, I saw it.” 

“He _still_ is angry Clarke, I’m not sure that’s gonna change until I help him out.” 

Clarke feels a bit of sympathy then. If only she knew how bad he wanted his help, she would’ve tried to be a bit less sarcastic. She has no idea what he’s going through, and he doesn’t know what her life is about either. It was wrong to spit things out with no remorse, but it didn’t take away from how much of an attitude he had. Her head could’ve exploded because of how annoying he seemed to be, and Marcus could already sense it. In that moment, he deserved to hear how bad his first impression was. 

“You fight back, which doesn’t make the situation better. But he didn’t mean any of it, I _promise_.” Kane says, reaching to the notepad next to him for Clarke’s session to begin. 

He sounded sincere, but it wasn’t coming from Bellamy’s mouth. She can’t forgive someone who isn’t in front of her. But, she has to move on. It’s her time now, it’s her conversation with Marcus that mattered. “How are you feeling about what I’m going to do, Marcus?” Clarke suddenly asks, she nervously shifts in the chair. 

Marcus sighs softly but there’s a look of determination on his face before his eyes narrow to the floor. “I have to admit, I didn’t want to go through with helping you initially. It’s just such a big task, and it’s risky, Clarke. _There’s a huge risk_ that we could lose a lot of things that matter to us.” 

“It’s just a match, what’s so crucial about me changing it if I’m not satisfied?” 

Clarke was confused, rightfully so because Marcus goes silent. She expected an answer straight away, because he should agree with her that nobody should stand in the way of wanting a chance at love when their matches don't work out. It was a simple question, or so she thought. 

“That’s the thing, Clarke...The problem is that you aren’t happy.” 

Clarke shakes her head, “And?” 

“It invalidates the work that the Spectors do, it doesn’t make them look good if people don’t like their match because then it means that they didn’t do a _good_ job." Marcus emphasizes, stressing the importance of his words with various hand gestures. "I just have to ask you, have you thought about what other people would think?” 

She shrugs, “Their opinions don’t matter because I’m doing the right thing.” 

There’s a pained look on his face, but the words force themselves out anyways. “I really want to help you Clarke, _I do_...but are you sure it’s the right thing? How do you even know what that is?” 

Clarke looks around the room, it’s full of his achievements and praise. She knows this is where Marcus is supposed to be with his life, helping others reach whatever potential they desire, so why was he being so negative? She needs him to be on the same page in terms of all of this. 

“I need to do this for myself, I can’t live like this. I can’t be with Wells, and you know why.” 

She feels herself calm down, sinking back into her chair. “That’s why it’s the right thing to do, to be matched with someone who actually cares about me.” 

Marcus finally nods his head, eyebrows furrowed together as the gears in his head start moving. He’s thinking about what to do, Clarke knows it. "Okay, I understand.” He looks at his computer screen, “But we can’t involve a lot of people, it’ll get harder to cover up the tracks with the more people we have."

Clarke feels herself breathe normally again. He was gonna help her, this was real now. _No more Wells_. 

“Got it.” 

She wants to hit herself when she remembers the one person she did tell. 

She told Raven about this idea, and Clarke has no idea how she’ll handle it if her friend got in trouble for knowing. 

“Marcus?” He looks up at her, and she can’t feel anything but nerves run up her spine, “I told someone about how I wanted to change my match. She’s the only person that knows—“ 

There’s a slight smile on his face, like he expected her to be so carefree. “Was it your mother?” 

“ _Gods no_ , she would freak out.” 

Marcus chuckles, and Clarke finds it funny too but she holds back her amusement to keep talking. “Her name is Raven Reyes, a new friend of mine. I met her at the Banquet.” 

The smile on Marcus’s face gets bigger and he shakes his head in a look of disbelief. “Raven? She’s one of my employees, although she usually works at my lab some days of the week. She’s great, right?” 

Clarke’s eyes widen, now she can’t believe him. Marcus knew Raven and didn’t want to introduce them _ever_? She couldn’t stop herself from asking the one main question that’s replaying in her head. “How long have you known her?” 

“ _Hmm..._ ” He stops looking at his computer screen, clicking something off and starts to grab for the notepad he had before. “About the same time I’ve known you.” 

“She’s a great friend already, I really wish _someone_ would’ve introduced us sooner. The first impression we got of eachother was quite the opposite of when we talked this morning, we were both nervous wrecks.” She teases shamelessly, smiling back at the memory. 

Marcus looks away, pretending not to listen or see her talk about his wrong-doings. “I have no idea who you’re talking about, Clarke.” 

It was a nice conversation, but Clarke must’ve noticed how Marcus was itching to continue the session. He was tapping his pencil against the paper, and he kept dazing off after saying each of sentences but he didn't want to interrupt her, he was generous like that. 

She didn’t have to wait long for him to reply, “What do you wanna work on first?” 

“The faster we can come up with a actual plan, the faster we can do this undetected.” 

Marcus tilts his head, “That’s good thinking, it’s true.” 

It's like Clarke's mind switches into overdrive, her thought process is endless. What could they think of? How can they even pull this off? She doesn't keep her questions to herself - she never has really been a girl to keep her thoughts to herself, especially when they matter - so she talks. "We need my results, right?" she pauses and rubs her hands against her jeans, it's the only thing giving comfort right now because everything seems to hit her in the face. 

_Her results._ She would have to see all of Wells answers too, to see how identical they matched together and the realization was daunting to say the least. She didn't want to see how compatible they were because she's known her entire life, they were best friends once, and for a long time. 

"I'm afraid so, those are the most important." 

"How can we get them?" She sits back in her chair, potential plans of action are filling her head. At first, she hopes that Marcus would have easy access to these types of things, but she knows that his official job as a data collector won't do them any good. He only has access to qualifiers, not official matches. She frowns, because she realizes who would be next down the list. "Can my mother's computer help you in any way?" Her voice is hesitant, a hand reaching to grab onto an arm rest because now it's too _real_. Clarke can't tell her mother anything about this, it would be too dangerous. 

Marcus turns to her slowly, "But you didn't tell her anything? From what I'm suspecting, I know you won't tell her _any_ details that we find or change, so why would you suggest that?" 

"I'm just saying that we could use her computer without her knowing." 

"You're kidding, right? If she ever found out-" Marcus rubs his face with both of his hands, "If she ever finds out, my friendship and work relationship with your mother would be over, Clarke." 

Clarke scoots the chair closer to his desk, with her hands on his desk in all seriousness. She needs him to understand what she's really saying, but she gets why he's worried about being on the wrong foot when it came to her mother. She gave him a job after his mother died in a building fire, he was there for her when her father died and he never stopped caring about either of them. She wouldn't want to lose him because of her needs, it wasn't right. "Okay fine, maybe that's a little extreme but it was one of the few options I could think of and it sounds like our _only_ option." 

"You aren't wrong, you know" Marcus deeply sighs, leaning back and tapping his pen after thinking about what she had said for a few more seconds. _She wasn't wrong,_ and it was a relief for the both of them, "I just hate doing it." 

"I don't want my mom finding out, she wants me to stay with Wells." 

"I know she does, what mother wouldn't want their child to be with someone that's related to the president or who their daughter has truly known for years? It makes total sense for her to accept your results, Clarke." 

She nods slowly, "So she wants me to be with him for society benefits?" 

"Don't go around twisting my words, kid." Marcus looks right at her, they lock eyes because of his harsh tone. "She saw you two grow up together, side by side for years. It wasn't until what he did to you after Jake's funeral is when you were the one who stopped trusting him." 

"He killed my father!" 

"He wasn't behind the gun, we all know that. _You know that_. Your mother is a smart woman, she knows he hurt you beyond imaginable lengths but her job requires her to stay loyal to her follow Spectors and that includes Jaha. She needs to trust both of them, no matter what." 

Clarke slumps in her chair, feeling defeated. It was like everything came crashing down on her so fast already, and she had no idea how to reply to a statement that's almost entirely true. Marcus wasn't talking about her, he was talking about the safety of her mother too. If they involve her, it would mean a bigger target on her family and she didn't need any more shame that came with being watched by the government because of the truth and secrets she knew. "What would you do, then? Please, tell me you have another option." 

"Sadly I don't, but I also know the next time Abby wants me to stop by her lab." 

"B-But you...." Clarke's sentence trails off, her brain not being able to explain why there's a hint of a smile growing on her face or why Marcus was saying the opposite of what he just explained to her a minute ago. "Marcus, you just convinced me to not involved my mother into this." 

"We don't need her computer for anything else, really. All I have to do is download your specific results from her database computer and compare them to Wells to make sure they matched correctly and then we use my research for the rest of the plan, and help find you another person with similar results who just got put into the system." Marcus nods to the girl with confidence, a grin appears on his face and Clarke feels her heart beat rapid in her chest. _It was happening_. "Honestly, I thought it would've been harder to figure out but it's not as difficult as it seems. It's just that no many people have tried it, and obviously because it's kind of illegal without telling a real match official." 

"When are you doing to her lab?" Clarke finally asks. 

"In a few days, Abby wants me to review some of her data for the Aberrations trying to qualify for the next round of matches." 

Her eyes widen in surprise, "But the last Banquet just ended a week ago?" 

"These people are desperate, Clarke. It's not good in the outskirts of Arkadia, there's people dying and a war that Jaha has been trying to silence since your father died." 

There was sorrow to his voice, and Clarke starts to wonder about what was really going on. She's never gone into full depth of her father's notes - especially since President Jaha had confiscated most of her father's notes and belongings before they took him away - but she's sure that there has to be more information about this stuff. Although, it had been a topic to cause arguments with her mother because she claims it was a crucial part of her dad's life that made him risk everything, when all Clarke wanted to do was know _more_ about why he was killed _._ She hates herself for not knowing more about what's happening outside her city walls, for not knowing about her father, for not knowing the risk that comes with discrediting a decision made by a high government official. 

_For not knowing why Bellamy Blake is so stubborn_. 

"How much time do we have until we can't change my results?" 

Marcus bites his bottom lip, thinking about an answer carefully. He didn't want to give the girl false hope, but it wasn't truly a lot of time. 

"It takes headquarters a while to speak to every match pair, so my safest answer to tell you is one month, at the most." 

_One month_ to find a match. 

_One month_ to get to know him. 

_One month_ to fall in love. 

_One month_ to avoid every suspicious that could rise from anybody. 

_One month_ to pretend like her original match didn't even happen. 

_One month_ till she can officially be paired with someone who hasn't caused her any hell. 

Clarke feels her hands get clammy and cold, she rubs them together because of nervous habit. She really has a lot of those, and it could only prove something. She lives in fear and regret, she doesn't want that anymore. This was the end, and the start all in one. "You think that's enough time?" 

"Do you?" 

"If we do it right..." Clarke suggests, her voice is soft as she decides what to say with her mind in a whirlwind of emotions. "I think it could work, if we work swiftly and quick together." 

Marcus does a final nod in her direction and then turns his attention to furiously type into his computer. "It'll work, I'll make sure it does." 

How could he do that? How can he be so sure? She just needs to trust him, and put her whole heart into this plan because it has to work. 


End file.
